Some helpful points on being a good wife.

Fr.  R Taouk

In regards to being a good wife, I don't mean being a good mother, or manger of home affairs, I mean by this, a woman who loves her husband in the manner that she should. Something that is so often forget in our age of self seeking. I would like to set forth some help tips in this regard.

1. We promised before God, that we would in taking our husband to look out for their interest 'for better or worse'.   When my husband comes home, what sort of a home does he come home to? Is it a place where he can see that he is the centre of the home and that he missed for those hours that he is away?

2. Simple logic of Christ gives us a great grounding here "Do unto others as you would them do unto you." - When my husband comes home, he is no doubt usually going to be tired and hungry etc. If didn't have time to get the family meal ready, could not have at least have made the effort to put something out or at least make him feel welcome with a kind greeting? Did Christ Himself, not complain that we was not greeted in a loving manner at the house of Simon the Leper (Luke 7). In this Our Lord simply expresses the sentiments of the human heart. "Home is where the heart is."

3. Sometime we can to easily feel that we are taken for granted, indeed that can be the case, but can we not say that at times we are also guilty of this? -  Learn to Love, says, St. Augustine and you will be loved! Or in the words of St. Francis "We there is no love, sow love"!

4. Often women can tend to want to change their spouse, forgetting that it doesn't work that simply. One needs to be careful, that in wanting to correct a fault in their spouse that they do not see this as a justification to belittle them or insult them. We must in this regard be careful to not undermine their reputation in the eyes of others. Spouses have a duty to look out for and protect each others reputations. What is in the home, should stay in the home. If something needs to be discussed, it should be done in private; and with due consideration. If it can't be resolved take it to a common friend, or a higher authority that you both respect, i.e. parish priest.

5. A wife, can be a great source of support and encouragement to her spouse more than she can ever grasp. Within her grasp is some much power for God and evil. - "An excellent wife is the crown of her husband,." (Proverbs 12:4) “Who shall find a valiant woman? The heart of her husband trusts in her; and he shall have no need of goods. She will render him good, and not evil, all the days of her life.” – Prov. 31:10 . In this regard, use the wisdom God has given you, and which there at your disposal if you so want to make use of it for the good of your husband and home.

6. The perfect man - doesn't exist. In reality, the spouses have a duty to make each other perfect. And by this, I do not mean, by making a heavy cross for the other, but rather, that we should learn to be able to bring out the best in the other.  As St. Augustine said so well of his own mother, St. Monica ‘My mother, then, was modestly and soberly brought up, being rather made obedient to her parents by You O God. When she reached the age for marriage, and was bestowed upon a husband, she served him as her lord. She used all her effort to win him to You, preaching You to him by her character, by which You made her beautiful to her husband, respected and loved by him and admirable in his sight’ – Confessions, Book IX, pg. 197.

7. Love of God, and consequently, of the spouse that providence has given you should be at the heart and foundation of your work as a wife.  In the ordinary course of things, the time, effort, and love you put into your marriage should only produce great fruit. It is easy to be a good mother. Loving your own offspring is natural. It is saintly to be a good wife. It is against our nature to give so selflessly, so continually, so diligently to someone whom we didn't produce. More profoundly, in this regard, we must never forget that the sanctification and salvation of your of the spouses is, from the day of your marriage a joint work and responsibility (1 Corinthians 7).